OK so this is me at my heaviest.....
this is me after 41lbs....Sunday, January 25, 2009
Well next month i turn 25!!! BLAH i am not looking forward to it...it will be the hardest birthday i will probably go through!!!!
On the other hand i have lost 52 lbs...since i started all this dieting in October!! I was very excited about that!!!!
Life stinks right now...I am very frustrated with things. I can't find a job...I AM SOOO SICK OF NOT HAVING A JOB and i do Babysit TWICE a week...but i only make 60 bucks and that is NOT enough to live on...People ALWAYS say when God closes a door he opens a window..WELL all i see is doors closing and windows being locked...SOOOO i don't know....I suppose there is some insane reason i am not being allowed to find a job.....MAYBE God does not wish me to be happy, maybe God does not wish me to live alone, maybe God does not wish me to find a job i love...I DON'T KNOW but i do know that i am sick of everything......I GIVE UP.......................I DON'T CARE anymore...whatever happens happens!!!!
On the other hand i have lost 52 lbs...since i started all this dieting in October!! I was very excited about that!!!!
Life stinks right now...I am very frustrated with things. I can't find a job...I AM SOOO SICK OF NOT HAVING A JOB and i do Babysit TWICE a week...but i only make 60 bucks and that is NOT enough to live on...People ALWAYS say when God closes a door he opens a window..WELL all i see is doors closing and windows being locked...SOOOO i don't know....I suppose there is some insane reason i am not being allowed to find a job.....MAYBE God does not wish me to be happy, maybe God does not wish me to live alone, maybe God does not wish me to find a job i love...I DON'T KNOW but i do know that i am sick of everything......I GIVE UP.......................I DON'T CARE anymore...whatever happens happens!!!!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Nothin goin on
This is my little Emi. P. Boyer and Emma Kate Hefner....they are my girls :-) When i have kids i hope my kids are this cute...LOLIt has been awhile...nothin exciting going on in this life.......
I got a new digital camera for Christmas and because retarded me did not format the disc so now i am just having issues...it loaded half of them...BUT need to load the rest. SOOOOO as soon as i figure all that out...i may have to take it to wal-mart and get the photos put on a disc and so on.....BLAH
For christmas i also got a new Bible and cover OH and my bible is PURPLE!!!!!
a sweater
tshirt
bath and body stuff
2 pictures for my room
a bookmark to match my bible cover
i also got the last movie for the love comes softly series.....
I am pretty sure i got more stuff but can't remember...LOL how sad
My 25th birthday is 2 days away.............AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
DEFINANTLY NOT READY FOR THIS......
I had an interview for a live in nanny job i am pretty excited about...I should know sometime next week if i got it or not......
THATS ABOUT ALL THATS GOING ON!!!!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
2008 in REVIEW
OK sooo alot of things have happened in the last year..
JANUARY - Grandma died January 4th
FEBRUARY - I turned 24..MAN I AM getting old...LOL
MARCH - nothin serious happened i don't think
APRIL - Decided i was moving to Illinois in May
MAY - quit my job at daycare, packed my room, packed my car, flew my bff down to NC, drove from NC to Illinois, and then drove from Illinois to ohio the next day....made a stop in Indiana to see the Parsons and Brad's family....then onto Cleveland to follow the parentals home....we split in WV and i drove myself home the rest of the way. LOST EVERYTHING for awhile...no job, no friend.....STUNK
JUNE -got a new "job" working for a couple in my church, and subbing at the daycare when they needed me, it also brought my almost move to St. Louis with the kimmels being a nanny..they never moved
JULY - My dream job as Office Manager at WKJV radio station...LOVED IT!!! went to cleveland for the 4th of july...fell at the lake and injured my back...LOL
AUGUST - Lot of time at the school helping out when i could, working at my dream job and ashleys suprise 14th birthday party
SEPTEMBER - Share-a-thon is coming..AGGGHHH worked long hours and crazy hours, got fired ecause i was too out going and did not have enouhg southern hospitality. WHATEVER its ok God had a plan for it all.
OCTOBER - did the breast cancer walk with my sister, did some work for my mom, began my weight loss journey, did some job interviews for nanny stuff...had 2 with a 5 month old little boy..did not get that one OBVIOUSLY....Not worried God has a plan...
NOVEMBER - Lost 39lbs so far....one of my good friends got breast cancer and had a masectomy, still no job...hanging out at the church alot with my bff and helping her with her job...LOL.........First Thanksgiving without Grandma :-(..............still no job...NOT WORRIED GOD HAS A PLAN
DECEMBER - CHRISTMAS!!!! got a new digital camera for christmas :-).....one of my friends that i have known since i was 12 got engaged!! So excited for you Jenny and Nick :-)
STILL NO JOB.....WORRIED don't understand...but keep telling myself.....Maybe God has something SOOOOOOO spectacular planned that i can't handle it right now....and will appreciate more now that i have had to wait for it!!!!
JANUARY - Grandma died January 4th
FEBRUARY - I turned 24..MAN I AM getting old...LOL
MARCH - nothin serious happened i don't think
APRIL - Decided i was moving to Illinois in May
MAY - quit my job at daycare, packed my room, packed my car, flew my bff down to NC, drove from NC to Illinois, and then drove from Illinois to ohio the next day....made a stop in Indiana to see the Parsons and Brad's family....then onto Cleveland to follow the parentals home....we split in WV and i drove myself home the rest of the way. LOST EVERYTHING for awhile...no job, no friend.....STUNK
JUNE -got a new "job" working for a couple in my church, and subbing at the daycare when they needed me, it also brought my almost move to St. Louis with the kimmels being a nanny..they never moved
JULY - My dream job as Office Manager at WKJV radio station...LOVED IT!!! went to cleveland for the 4th of july...fell at the lake and injured my back...LOL
AUGUST - Lot of time at the school helping out when i could, working at my dream job and ashleys suprise 14th birthday party
SEPTEMBER - Share-a-thon is coming..AGGGHHH worked long hours and crazy hours, got fired ecause i was too out going and did not have enouhg southern hospitality. WHATEVER its ok God had a plan for it all.
OCTOBER - did the breast cancer walk with my sister, did some work for my mom, began my weight loss journey, did some job interviews for nanny stuff...had 2 with a 5 month old little boy..did not get that one OBVIOUSLY....Not worried God has a plan...
NOVEMBER - Lost 39lbs so far....one of my good friends got breast cancer and had a masectomy, still no job...hanging out at the church alot with my bff and helping her with her job...LOL.........First Thanksgiving without Grandma :-(..............still no job...NOT WORRIED GOD HAS A PLAN
DECEMBER - CHRISTMAS!!!! got a new digital camera for christmas :-).....one of my friends that i have known since i was 12 got engaged!! So excited for you Jenny and Nick :-)
STILL NO JOB.....WORRIED don't understand...but keep telling myself.....Maybe God has something SOOOOOOO spectacular planned that i can't handle it right now....and will appreciate more now that i have had to wait for it!!!!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
SOMETHING SOOOO WRONG
OK soooooo 2day did NOT start out so great...I got pink eye today :-) YEAH!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!
Life is going ok....i am really just BLAH about everything.....I am so scared of what life is going to bring. I always thought God was going to give me the desires of my heart...i mean i don't want wicked things...LOL
i want to be a church or christian school secretary, marry a TALL godly man, work with youth and have 20 kids(j/k only like 3 or 5).....I mean is there SOMETHING sooooooo wrong about that???? BLAH BLAH BLAH
Life is going ok....i am really just BLAH about everything.....I am so scared of what life is going to bring. I always thought God was going to give me the desires of my heart...i mean i don't want wicked things...LOL
i want to be a church or christian school secretary, marry a TALL godly man, work with youth and have 20 kids(j/k only like 3 or 5).....I mean is there SOMETHING sooooooo wrong about that???? BLAH BLAH BLAH
Saturday, December 13, 2008
BLAH
Life is not cool right now...I feel like i am in a downward spiral of POO....I can't find a job, I can't go to school...I am sick and tired of being everyones everything. I stay up late listening to my single friends WHINE about there love lives and how they don't know what to do about this problem or that problem. I am sick and tired of listening to my married friends whine about how they don't have time to do this or that or they wish they could just stay home with there kids and there husband or how they don't have money. I AM SICK OF IT ALL!!!!!
I would give anything to be able to take care of a man. Do his dishes, laundry, clean the house he has provided for me. I mean is that such a big friggin deal?? I mean i see these girls who are 18 and 19 getting married and having kids and then all they do is whine about how they want there childhood back....WELL THEN YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED!!! DUH!!!!
I mean i don't get it. I want Gods will, I want what god wants in my life...BUT is this what he wants.....for me to have no job, no education,no life, no nothin???? I don't understand!!!!
I have ALWAYS been the "good girl" and my brothers and sister are technically doing better than me now everything is not perfect but they all have jobs, families, homes.....Why does ME the "good girl" suffer...CUZ I AM THE "GOOD GIRL"?????
I GIVE UP....whatever......
I would give anything to be able to take care of a man. Do his dishes, laundry, clean the house he has provided for me. I mean is that such a big friggin deal?? I mean i see these girls who are 18 and 19 getting married and having kids and then all they do is whine about how they want there childhood back....WELL THEN YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN MARRIED!!! DUH!!!!
I mean i don't get it. I want Gods will, I want what god wants in my life...BUT is this what he wants.....for me to have no job, no education,no life, no nothin???? I don't understand!!!!
I have ALWAYS been the "good girl" and my brothers and sister are technically doing better than me now everything is not perfect but they all have jobs, families, homes.....Why does ME the "good girl" suffer...CUZ I AM THE "GOOD GIRL"?????
I GIVE UP....whatever......
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
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