Tuesday, February 10, 2009

ummm

Nothin exciting going on in life right now as usual....I have some personal things to work through.............I am really sick and tired of being suckered into things and then not wanting to do them and then when i don't i get fussed at when i tell them i am sorry i changed my mind. I am tired of being looked down on because i don't listen to a certain kind of music.
We ALL have DIFFERENT standards and convictions...why can't you leave me alone on what i feel is right for me.......
BLAH...other than that i think i may get a job soon so we shall see!!!!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

THE WEEK OF DOOM

SOOOOOOO this is the week i have been dreading...in 4 days i will be 25
I have no life
no job
no boyfriend
no prospects
no nothin........
so i am not really looking forward to this birthday..............
I thought getting the job at WKJV would be the turning point in my life i needed....I was making enough money to move out, and i was happy and POOF its gone and i still to this day don't really have a clear answer on why.
I have been trying to get a certain job for about 2 months now and i have no luck..i am qualified and i don't have a job and the 2 ppl he has tried to give it to DON'T want it...I DO I DO I DO....SO i find out tonight some other person is doing it AND THEY HAVE A JOB and they stay busy...I DON'T GET IT.....what do i have to do to get a real job....NOW i am not saying the babysitting i do is not a real job BUT its not enough to live off of......
Someone asked me yesterday are you happy...i wanted to cry because honestly when i look at my life i am sooo unhappy i don't even want to get out of bed......if i were to dwell on it i seriously wouldn't get out of bed......there have been days were i don't get out of bed.
Everyone tells me oh read your bible and pray....WHY...everything God has given me he also takes away...job wise....so i mean WHY pray for a job when God will probably just take away the next one i get....I AM SCARED!!!! I am scared that i will be 30 yrs old and have no job, no life, and still living with my parents in the basement...like some retard who can't make it in life....
I JUST WANT HAPPINESS....THAT'S ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!