I JUST THINK I LOOK CUTE...hahahaha

soo cute...she only touched them once

we wore her out!!!

My boys... i love taking them places

NO DIRECTION

WOW its been forever!!!!!
Nothin exciting going on here.
I have had a ton of ups and downs. I still have no job...i had one but the guy i was working for tried to hit on me. SO that one went away!! BLAH

I am looking into cooking school but can't get anyone to call me back and when i call they put me on hold then i get an answering machine. BLAH so...IDK maybe its not meant to be.

I need to go to school for something and cooking school seemed to be "IT" but now i wonder what i should do...I have no leading...i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.....i have prayed, talked to other ppl.............noone can tell me what i should do.............I just need direction!!!!!!!! But can't find it.................

ummm

Nothin exciting going on in life right now as usual....I have some personal things to work through.............I am really sick and tired of being suckered into things and then not wanting to do them and then when i don't i get fussed at when i tell them i am sorry i changed my mind. I am tired of being looked down on because i don't listen to a certain kind of music.
We ALL have DIFFERENT standards and convictions...why can't you leave me alone on what i feel is right for me.......
BLAH...other than that i think i may get a job soon so we shall see!!!!

THE WEEK OF DOOM

SOOOOOOO this is the week i have been dreading...in 4 days i will be 25
I have no life
no job
no boyfriend
no prospects
no nothin........
so i am not really looking forward to this birthday..............
I thought getting the job at WKJV would be the turning point in my life i needed....I was making enough money to move out, and i was happy and POOF its gone and i still to this day don't really have a clear answer on why.
I have been trying to get a certain job for about 2 months now and i have no luck..i am qualified and i don't have a job and the 2 ppl he has tried to give it to DON'T want it...I DO I DO I DO....SO i find out tonight some other person is doing it AND THEY HAVE A JOB and they stay busy...I DON'T GET IT.....what do i have to do to get a real job....NOW i am not saying the babysitting i do is not a real job BUT its not enough to live off of......
Someone asked me yesterday are you happy...i wanted to cry because honestly when i look at my life i am sooo unhappy i don't even want to get out of bed......if i were to dwell on it i seriously wouldn't get out of bed......there have been days were i don't get out of bed.
Everyone tells me oh read your bible and pray....WHY...everything God has given me he also takes away...job wise....so i mean WHY pray for a job when God will probably just take away the next one i get....I AM SCARED!!!! I am scared that i will be 30 yrs old and have no job, no life, and still living with my parents in the basement...like some retard who can't make it in life....
I JUST WANT HAPPINESS....THAT'S ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so this is me at my heaviest.....

this is me after 41lbs....

Well next month i turn 25!!! BLAH i am not looking forward to it...it will be the hardest birthday i will probably go through!!!!

On the other hand i have lost 52 lbs...since i started all this dieting in October!! I was very excited about that!!!!

Life stinks right now...I am very frustrated with things. I can't find a job...I AM SOOO SICK OF NOT HAVING A JOB and i do Babysit TWICE a week...but i only make 60 bucks and that is NOT enough to live on...People ALWAYS say when God closes a door he opens a window..WELL all i see is doors closing and windows being locked...SOOOO i don't know....I suppose there is some insane reason i am not being allowed to find a job.....MAYBE God does not wish me to be happy, maybe God does not wish me to live alone, maybe God does not wish me to find a job i love...I DON'T KNOW but i do know that i am sick of everything......I GIVE UP.......................I DON'T CARE anymore...whatever happens happens!!!!

Nothin goin on

This is my little Emi. P. Boyer and Emma Kate Hefner....they are my girls :-) When i have kids i hope my kids are this cute...LOL


It has been awhile...nothin exciting going on in this life.......


I got a new digital camera for Christmas and because retarded me did not format the disc so now i am just having issues...it loaded half of them...BUT need to load the rest. SOOOOO as soon as i figure all that out...i may have to take it to wal-mart and get the photos put on a disc and so on.....BLAH
For christmas i also got a new Bible and cover OH and my bible is PURPLE!!!!!
a sweater
tshirt
bath and body stuff
2 pictures for my room
a bookmark to match my bible cover
i also got the last movie for the love comes softly series.....
I am pretty sure i got more stuff but can't remember...LOL how sad

My 25th birthday is 2 days away.............AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
DEFINANTLY NOT READY FOR THIS......

I had an interview for a live in nanny job i am pretty excited about...I should know sometime next week if i got it or not......

THATS ABOUT ALL THATS GOING ON!!!!